You can excuse youthful arrogance, naivité, self-absorption and entitlement only so much, especially when it comes from the mouth of a babe who should really be more aware of the full spectrum of economic realities than he (obviously) is.
I mean, you were making zillions of dollars for your rich clients– off the backs of us peons — for a couple of years before you were so rudely ejected from the Bay Street Boys’ Club, weren’t you, Robert McGroarty?
Just over three weeks ago, Robert McGroarty walked out of a Bay Street office tower with a severance package under his arm and no idea where to go.
A day earlier, the 24-year-old had been working on the equity sales desk of a boutique investment brokerage house, pulling in a six-figure salary plus bonuses and regularly entertaining clients with bottle service at the city’s swankiest bars.
[...]
Mr. McGroarty first moved to Toronto as a 20-year-old intern, working on Bay Street in the summer before his final year studying economics at Queen’s University. He was hired on at the same firm after graduation, and shared a lakefront condo with a friend before moving to his own place, which he kitted out with a flat-screen TV and surround-sound system.
His world revolved around the markets by day and at night he hit the bars and restaurants of King Street West: Cheval, Brant House, Spice Route. Wooing potential clients meant breaking out your wallet (expense account, of course), and Mr. McGroarty said it was not unusual for him to drop more than a few hundred dollars in a night. “If you had enough people you could make a legitimate excuse to buy a bottle or two, and that’s just how you got accustomed to partying,” he said.
He bought a $2,500 Ralph Lauren Black Label suit and would engage in $3,000 shopping sprees every few months or so, while also dropping cash taking dates to the city’s best restaurants or buying rounds of champagne for friends.
“I didn’t think I was the shit, but I knew I was doing pretty well for myself,” he said. “I was living well, but I was also working really hard.”
[...]
His company-issued BlackBerry was handed over upon his dismissal. Raised on cellphones, he only knew two phone numbers by heart: his parents’ home in North Carolina and his father’s cell. Without even a quarter in his pocket, he tried to call collect, only to be informed that there was no answer at home and that you can’t make collect calls to cellphones.
Because he did not know anyone’s phone number, Facebook is now his primary means of communication. On the day he was fired, he updated his profile to read: “Robert McGroarty is figuring shit out.”
There’s schadenfreude and then there’s schadenfreude. And this? Is schadenfruedelicious. We sincerely wish Mr. McGroarty the best of luck in his figuring out of shit. It looks like there’s a lot of it.
28 comments
Dear Robert:
A couple of pointers to help you “figure shit out”:
1) Two words: Blackberry backups. Or, whenever you score your next six-figure job (*giggle*), “kit” yourself out with an iPhone and MobileMe with the cash you might save by skipping a night of “bottle service.” All the cool hipsters are doing it.
2) Know that 24 year-olds should never, ever own a $2,500 suit. Unless you’re an heir to a throne. Or you’ve stolen it during a mob heist.
3) Better yet, look up the word “douche” in a slang dictionary.
4) Repeat #3 over and over and over until you “figure shit out.”
Mr. McWarbucks should have put a little money aside for a rainy day. And backed up his Blackberry contacts.
How can you be that unaware of your surrounding and not accidentally crap your pants on a regular basis?
I work in an art gallery, and accept the fact that most folks are going to think my line of work is BS. However, when a painting is misattributed, the pension funds of thousands of little old ladies doesn’t evaporate overnight.
If I were Queen of the Friggin’ Universe, my big bailout stipulation would be everyone in the financial biz be tested for cocaine and meth use, and signs of bipolar disorder. Because nothing says “mania-induced grandiosity” like investing in mortgages held by folks who won’t be able to pay them back…
Some of us take longer than others to sort through said basket of shit. I was a mess in my twenties AND thirties, so I feel sorry for him. Except for the part where he was rich and had lots of stuffy stuff but then lost his job and now has no money. That just made me roll my eyes so hard I’ve got a headache now.
Hello? SAVING ACCOUNT, honey. IRAs? When last I checked men’s suits did not appreciate in value when worn.
Can we please send him an address book now? Seriously. How hard is it to figure out paper and pen?
Ouch….this isn’t the empathy room, is it?
What did he do with the severance package that he walked away with? I’m suppose to feel bad that some 24 year old kid that was pulling down 6 figures didn’t have enough brains to save anything?
I suppose I should feel lucky that having spent my life as a wage slave, that if I found myself out of a job tomorrow that I would take a job scrubbing toilets if that’s what it took to keep a roof over my head. I sure as hell wouldn’t be piddling around on Facebook wondering what to do now that the party is over.
Well, what killed me is… this is a guy who’s supposed to manage thousands — if not millions — of dollars of his clients’ money, and is supposed to be aware of the marketplace and all the ripples and waves therein. And from this article he clearly can’t do much more than order a bottle of Grey Goose on his corporate AmEx card.
Guy,
I told you that 5th bottle of Grey Goose was too much. Don’t you know its a depression. Once you figure shit out i’ll hire you back to clean my golf clubs.
Suds
This is the best blog I have read to date! Well done! Funny part is there are major holes in the story. One, I would be surprised if he was making more then 50k a year. 2. If he did actually ever order bottle service then he would have been lucky to walk out under 1g minimum … 1 or 2 hundo would likely only get you a couple drinks at the bar at most places (4 exactly at 111 yorkville)… 3. He maybe had one client he hung out with all the time …..So its quite obvious he somehow convinced himself he was living in this dreamworld… but… never was… Even more embarrassing that you would actually want to be such a douche.
Hey Guys,
I work for a rival boutique bank of McGroarty’s previous employer, and know McGroarty a little bit. Now I know this doesn’t become apparent through the abovementioned article, but McGroarty’s a really nice, kind guy. Also, I understand this article’s portrayal of him clearly warrants criticism, but it has been grossly exaggerated.
First, let me state that the life descirbed in the article is lived by more or less every aggressive institutional sales guy on Bay or Wall Street. It’s simply the work hard play hard attitude taken to the extreme, and it’s typically strongly encouraged (if not enforced) by the senior employees of aggressive investment banks in their attempt to get the most out of more junior ones. Let me even go one step further and state that I was once told at an interview that I needed to change my appearance and (over) dress the part. To my surprise, apparently my $850 tailor-made suit wasn’t good enough.
More importantly… If someone’s at fault here, it’s the writer of this article who demonstrated absolutely no discretion or professionalism in their depiction of McGroarty. I think if anyone spends a few more minutes re-reading the article, it will become very clear to them that McGroarty was purposely portrayed in a way to be picked on by readers. He is the victim of an over-zealous reporter looking to make a splash to further their own career. If you weren’t given the impression he were such a “douche”, you probably would’ve just skimmed over to the next article.
Finally, please stop the insults. This isn’t fiction, it’s a guy’s real life.
People. What the f#@k is wrong with all of you. Rob probably went to school, worked hard, and landed a good paying and (very stressful) job. Hard work pays off. If it didn’t I would be asking for change on the street corner with the rest of you.
Anyone who has a problem with capitalism is welcome to go find a country where you can wake up and hail to Stalin every morning, and hopeful survive the day after spending your morning waiting in a bread line.
Oh, the humanity. Those poor junior employees at investment banks. It’s practically indentured servitude! I’m sure Robert McG was just the sweetest, nicest, kindest, non-douchey guy both before and after his job fell through. My heart goes out.
“Anyone who has a problem with capitalism . . . ” Wha?? Not sure how anything about this post is an indictment of capitalism. Give us time, AA – we may see bread lines down here in capitalist nirvna yet.
While I don’t know McGroarty, I do know the world being talked about in this article, and Nick is correct in his general assessment. If you read the article, you see that the kid did save money – he just funneled most of that into investments, which is what youngsters saving for retirement in 40 years are typically strongly encouraged to do (and which fit what he was doing every day in his job). He admits that he should have put more in cash, but he was saving quite a bit. As for his lifestyle, it may sound like an exaggeration to say that he had to live that way to keep his job, but…actually, that *is* more or less expected given the field and type of city he was working in, to the point where other types of behavior would seem really odd to the people paying him. Not to mention the fact that, when you’re expected to work more or less around the clock and be available 24/7, it’s really easy to get into the habit of shelling out quite a bit of money if you have it, both because you feel that the brief enjoyments you get to have are more than earned and because it makes your life less inconvenient. Does that mean I’m weeping tears of sympathy for him? No, but by the perspective of 1) most humans throughout history and 2) a few billion people on the planet today, everyone commenting on this blog is living a life of unimaginable ease and luxury, and the difference between McGroarty and the rest of us is minor at best.
Also, if you read on in the article, you come to this:
“For the past three months, he has been volunteering with the Children’s Aid Society, acting as a big brother. Every Saturday he takes his charge swimming, bowling or to the library; this weekend they will visit the renovated Art Gallery of Ontario. Come January, he will be forced to sever the relationship. “The Children’s Aid Society wants you to make a long-term commitment, which I was happy to do, up until I didn’t have a job,” he said. “So that’s another side effect. It’s not just my friends and stuff, it’s obligations to charity and a lot of things.”"
Also, this:
“In the new year…Mr. McGroarty plan to travel to South America, where Mr. McGroarty would like to volunteer with Habitat for Humanity, before returning in May to enroll in MBA programs.”
Doesn’t sound like an arrogant SOB with a superiority complex to me – just a kid who hadn’t lived long enough to understand the full effects of a profound recession and is now trying to learn lessons from his experience. YMMV.
Thank you, Nick and marion, for your comments. I have no doubt that the article on which this post was based is an egregious example of what I like to call “give ‘em enough rope” journalism. It’s not a particularly fair portrayal.
And yet, my sympathy for Mr. McGroarty extends no further than I’d have for anyone experiencing a layoff. Well, actually, I must be honest: it’s far less.
I have no doubt that Mr. McGroarty is a basically decent chap, as his work with volunteer groups indicates. But from the facts in the article, he was not just an instrument but a star player in a particularly mean-spirited version of predatory capitalism, in which only the most profitable companies are put forward as investment opportunities and enormous amounts of money are made by a few investors at the expense of a broad base of smaller investors.
Any glee with which the reporter lays out Mr. McGroarty’s plight is simply a reflection of the economic zeitgeist today. I have worked with organizations like his former employer and I have been the victim of their practices. Companies go out of business because they didn’t provide the investor-class unreasonable ROI and savings are wiped out because “that’s just the way it is.”
I won’t draw any exaggerated parallels between his chosen career and less-savoury professions, but to justify the excesses of the investor class as “that’s just the way it is” is to accept predatory capitalism as a laudable philosophy for a society.
Which I do not.
I welcome information that Mr. McGroarty’s investment recommendations focused on green industries or socially-benevolent capitalist enterprises. They do exist, and I hope he pushed them as hard as he might have pushed obscenely profitable portfolios which resulted in jobs lost by hundreds (thousands?) or modest savings lost to greedy profiteers.
But the overarching lesson in all of this is: if you do not know, or fail to acknowledge, that predatory capitalism is the cause of much fear and pain in this world, to the extent that your “innocent” comments to a Globe reporter might be perceived as callous or oblivious to the consequences of your greed-pimping, you really do deserve the resulting derision. Welcome to the world you helped create, Mr. McGroarty.
Ok I can’t take this anymore! “star player”? you have got to be f’n kidding me! The only thing that guy was a star at was picking up lunch…otherwise he’d still be here.
Grossmith
bstewart23: If he wasn’t a star — for a while, at least — who were the morons paying him six figures? And who, ultimately, really paid those six figures?
Hey guys, now I know this is a little off topic but humour me. I was amazed by the feedback this article generated and thought that this blog could provide a potential avenue by which I could find a mature concensus on a frustrating issue Ive had.
Basically, I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least $200K a year. I know how that sounds ridiculous, but keep in mind that if you want something, you have to pursue it.
Are there any guys who make 200K on this board? Could
you send me some tips? I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in New York now, and she’s not as pretty as I am. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?
Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? This article mentioned a few places, a few of which I have heard of (Brant/Cheval). Any other ones?
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?
- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?
- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY
Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.
PS. Robert did you find another job yet? Are you single? btw. 6-figures is so vague. that could mean you’re well-off/rich/super-rich/wealthy.
bstewart23: if there was a prize for comments, you’d win today’s. For real.
This thread is like a coked-up New Wave 80′s band that just finished a performance and suddenly ‘needs’ to go bowling at 3:00 AM. [Cue 'Fascist Groove Thing,' please.]
bstewart hon, unless the prize for the comment is a shiny new super wealthy husband, I doubt Mariana cares much.
Who knew your blog would become a place where gold diggers would troll for husbands?
Yeesh.
I’m sorry for baiting the troll, but Mariana, you know what your yoga mate was probably doing right? Being a genuine human being. You might give it a try.
I feel the need to wash in lye.
Ah, it would appear that someone has revamped that infamous Craigslist posting asking how to marry rich guys and is spamming blogs with it. Charming.
And yet, my sympathy for Mr. McGroarty extends no further than I’d have for anyone experiencing a layoff.
And I feel exactly the same way.
In fact, I feel far less sorry for him than I do for say, single mothers of three getting laid off from their secretarial jobs at big financial firms. I could be wrong, but I didn’t get the sense from the article that we were supposed to weep tears of blood for him – just get a sense of how quickly the world can get turned upside down, even for those who seem to be near the top. It’s been a few decades since the last “OMG the WORLD SEEMS TO BE ENDING”-level recession; while I remember it somewhat, the average 20something such as McGroarty doesn’t and never expected such a thing, and is now getting a harsh but perhaps ultimately helpful lesson. YMMV.
If he wasn’t a star — for a while, at least — who were the morons paying him six figures?
That having been said, even in flush years, if you couldn’t do well, you were out relatively quickly. High risk with high potential for reward. If you’re interested, Michael Lewis has written (IMHO) an excellent account of the rise and fall of Wall Street here: http://www.portfolio.com/news-markets/national-news/portfolio/2008/11/11/The-End-of-Wall-Streets-Boom
Hon, in his line of business, even the lowest-level people were getting paid six figures.
In response to MarianaA’s fair questions, I think i can shine some light on a few things. First absolutely you must go to FourSeasons for cocktails, you must. If you are serious about meeting a real player on the streets you need to message me I will meet you at fourseasons and introduce you to some friends. cheeeeers.
Hi All,
I appreciate the sentiments (at least most of them) on this board. I want to let everyone know that I am not the arrogant little rich kid that was portrayed in the article. I worked so hard for many years to get to the point in my career where I became an ultimate success. And now I can no longer even make payments on my Hummer.
To MarianaA, while I may no longer be considerd “super-wealthy” please email me (robertmcgroarty6969@yahoo.com) and I’ll show you the time of your life!
To those who can’t handle the heat that I bring on a daily basis. Go F yourself!!!!
Rob
I gotta LOL here. Clearly the ‘Rob’ found above is not actually Mr. McGroarty, but nevertheless the reply is entertaining as much as it is fictional.
Anyway, I am in complete agreement with Nick on the notion that Robert is nothing like what the article portrays him to be. Robert and I have known eachother from our time back at Queen’s where we shared many sleepless saturday nights alone(studying). Skimming over the years, we both landed great gigs on Bay Street garnering 6-figure salaries and working/partying around the clock, occasionally with some lady friends.
I have to be honest though, despite his overarching admirable characteristics, Rob was did not have the greatest view/foresight of the market by any means, which Im guessing is the principle reason behind his dismissal. I mean seriously, this guy spent two years pitching shmuck clients telecom stocks in a spiralling bear market (lol). Jk Rob!!! But what he lacked in analytical ability, he made up for hand over fist in friendship qualities. He had this really likeable way about him.
Aside from all the ‘hoopla’ of the typical investment banker lifestyle, our friend Robert or ‘McWhorety’ as we used to call him in fourth year, has always been regarded as a genuinely good person. I remember one time shopping for our first suits, I wanted to by a $3,000 armani strictly for the ‘street credit’ even though it didn’t fit me right. Rob was there to steer me away from it.
At the same time, I am not writing to make Rob out as a saint. Losing a job is something the average person is forced to deal with at least once in their lives. As with everyone in the industry, he’ll get back on his feet.
***It’s all uphill from here ladies***
Cheers,
John
btw, I left the # to my new blackberry bold on here in case someone wanted to contact me but it was filtered. Contact me via email at success83@forbescandidates.com
I also went to Queen’s with Rob. We enjoyed many evenings wining and dining the fine ladies that made Kingston their shag-dom. I will say that it was pretty entertaining, but that things could sometimes get…ahem….strange toward the ends of said evenings. There is something to be said for dark mood lighting.
I sympathize with the old telecom chap. Bad market! But there is one thing that confuses me —-> why is everyone only focused on the “womanizer” side of a switch hitter like McGroarty?
You guys are hilarious!!!!
I love all the full-bore hate going on here. I hate to instill a sense of reality to almost everyone involved in this wonderful “discussion” (and I use that term loosely) going on here, but here’s a bit of useful information for everyone willing to slam Robert.
1) This kid (yes, he is 24 years old, the age at which most people have just graduated from university) is a good kid. He has busted his tail to not only graduate from university at this point, but was let go from a job where he had already put in 3 years of gainful employment. The money he had and spent, he earned the old fashioned way … by working.
2) How many “douches” do you know who have spent christmas helping the less fortunate at shelters? In fact, if you had tried to contact Rob last Tuesday, you would have found him sitting amongst friends wrapping christmas gifts for charity.
3) I’m sure all the people he will reach out to in Central and South America doing charity work will judge him not for whom he worked for or what industry he chose to work in, but for the help he will be giving to those who can’t help themselves.
To all you who seem to be obsessed with the fact that he made a pile of dough working in finance, get over it. Some jobs pay better than others. It doesn’t mean he should get any less respect than a single mother who looses her job, a highly skilled immigrant who has to drive a cab to make ends meet, a teacher who is deemed “redundant” because an over-zealous government cuts education funding, or an auto worker who looses his job due to slumping sales and cheaper labour costs in Mexico.
Ian,
Its not hate, bro it’s man love!!
Admittedly, Rob (and I) spent his (and my) hard earned cash on mildly ridiculous but most awesome and necessary (if u want da biatches!!!) things: platinum cell phone cases, $2,300 cologne (Clive Christian No. 1 – BOOYAA biatch, thats how we roll!!!), lots of Cris at Cheval (we used to run the VIP there – read my lips – WE RAN THAT SHIT!!), sick as nuts Ferragamo attache bags (awesome for the gym!!) and caviar and grey goose predrinks (for the ladies!!! Popcorn Playaaasss!!!!!).
My motto has always been, “if you can’t play with tha big dogs on the porch, go kiss the puppies in the living room”. Rob definitely lived life by that adage!!!
Christ, enough.