Following the spectacular success of the worldwide demos last weekend, in which hundreds of thousands of lesbians and gays and their friends and families protested the passing of California’s Proposition 8 (and three other antigay measures in other states), the folks at Join the Impact now propose that on December 10th we all call in “gay” from work, and spend the day volunteering in our communities.
And, I hafta say, while the intent is good, I’m not a fan. I think it’s kind of dumb. And weak.
I say this not because I work for a gay-owned, gay-operated, couldn’t-possibly-produce-gayer-product company and thus would accomplish nothing more than being a major dick by not showing up at the office. I say this not because the phrase “Day Without a Gay” is clunky and inelegant and uses “gay” as a noun and not an adjective — and forgets the whole lesbian contingent. I say this not because I’m opposed to encouraging volunteering in our communities.
No.
It’s kind of dumb and weak because it’s a retreat, a withdrawal and in marked contrast to the inyerface marching last weekend, it seems like a petulant denial of service to employers who need to witness our strength and confidence and pride — and numbers! — not pithy, pissy stunts.
I remember, almost thirty years ago, when I first came out, that we used to joke (while cowering in our secret bars or clandestine urban barbecues) that we should all call in gay to work and then they’d see how many of us there truly are. Or if all gays and lesbians woke up one day with blue skin, the turmoil which would ensue!
But those are fantasies. And not particularly potent fantasies. We live in the real world and, really, the real solution — the real most-potent, inyerface action — is to confidently, bravely and with pride… come out. That’s always been the answer. Come out.
Come out.
Nothing educates the ignorant or demonstrates our reality or defies the hatred or refutes the lies or provides a better argument for full equality than simply… coming out.
Turn a “day without a gay” into “days with gays”, year-round.
Thirty years ago this Thursday, Harvey Milk was assasinated. Not coincidentally, the new movie MILK opens the day before. I should probably let my employer know I’ll be calling in gay next Wednesday.
From The Times of Harvey Milk
We must destroy the myths once and for all, shatter them. We must continue to speak out and most importantly every gay person must come out. As difficult as it is, you must tell your immediate family, you must tell your relatives, you must tell your friends, if indeed they are your friends, you must tell your neighbors, you must tell the people you work with, you must tell the people in the stores you shop in, and once they realize that we are indeed their children and that we are indeed everywhere, every myth, every lie, every innuendo will be destroyed once and for all. And once you do you will feel so much better. — Harvey Milk
Note to self: pick up a fresh box of Kleenex next Tuesday.
8 comments
I couldn’t agree with you more. Calling in “gay” to work is counterproductive and not (to use the overused buzzword) proactive. Being visible and out is the key. The more out we are, the more everpresent we are in the lives of “everyday” people. By putting human faces on this makes any gay rights issue more personal and less abstract. Unlike other issues we may face (be they economic or whatever), gay rights deal with people: men and women who just want to live their lives with the same access to rights and resources as heteros. When we gays and lesbians merely and casually present ourselves as equals as everyone else, it’s easier for us to get what we want.
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I think it’s supposed to be a take off of the “day without a mexican” that occurred earlier this year, to protest the draconian anti-undocumented worker raids and new laws being passed. However in that case, the point was to show society that, if every undocumented worker were actually deported back to their home country (which is what some people were proposing) the wheels of commerce would completely fall of the train.
The “tie” in this instance isn’t quite as clear.
I saw Milk last night. Bring two boxes of tissues. And bring someone whose hand you can hold throughout the movie. It helped me get through it without turning into a total pile of goo.
MILK was both incredibly sad and incredibly hopeful. There were one or two changes I would have made to the structure of the movie, just speaking from a technical standpoint, but it was fantastic.
Most riveting for me was the fight against Prop. 6. After the passage of Prop. 8 here in CA, watching the fight to defeat Prop. 6 was scary and wonderful, even though I knew the outcome, and gave me hope that, in the end, Prop 8 will be overturned.
Note to self: put The Times of Harvey Milk in my Netflix queue.
bstewart23: Two boxes? Yeesh. The 90-second clip, above, gets me weepy! Thanks for the thumbs-up, though; I’ll be in the theatre next Wednesday…
But… but…
The 10th of December is my birthday.
If you’re going to bail on work, celebrate THAT!
Isn’t a world without gays what the dominionists are plotting and praying for? Why even give them a single day without us in it?
Yeah, I saw Milk this week in Houston at a special screening. You’re going to need the tissue, but it’s an amazing movie that I think every young person should see. I get the sense, with younger people, that there is no sense of history. Nobody knows how it used to be, what challenges and heartbreak one faced with coming out. I now it’s still not easy, but because of those that have gone before (seemingly heroic or not) it’s easier for you. Be yourself, be out, be alive!
[...] an interesting concept, and I see what the organizers are trying to accomplish, but after reading bstewart’s take on Day Without A Gay, I opted to go into work today, because I happen to agree with him. I will still not purchase [...]
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