Hey, if I can tell you that Charlton Heston turned me gay I can also tell you that Old Spice had a hand in it, too, splashed on the freshly-shaved faces of the men wearing nothing but white towels in the locker room of my father’s golf clubhouse forty-odd years ago. Give me a whiff of old-school Old Spice and, well, I’ll just let you imagine what happens next.
Old Spice has in recent years shown a remarkable self-awareness of its clichéd, camp appeal, perhaps best exemplified in the dumb-but-fun (and kinda sexy) ad, below:
Cute, huh? And no harm, no foul, right? But this… this:
I’ll tell you what “two things” that ad is: creepy and just, plain fucked-up. Hot half man, half… mare? Filly? Either way, the dude’s naughty horse-bits are not male. And if he does have male horse-naughties, don’t get me started on his lady friend’s seductive appreciation for whatever it is that centaur-guy “provides”.
What is this, Tijuana?
7 comments
I have to admit, I have a certain fondness for Old Spice myself. It was the only thing my old man wore for cologne and for that reason will always be associated with going to Mass and other dress up occasions.
Personally, I don’t wear colognes, but there is a bit of nostalgia that I get on those occasions when I get a whiff of the stuff.
Hmmmmm…. lack of Old Spice was the reason I turned out as an atheist? I’ll have to ask my younger bro, since he got on the godless boat once he was out of the house too. He doesn’t wear cologne either. Coincidence? I think not.
I had the same thoughts on this commercial. I found it very creepy. I also think the Axe commercial with the guy made of chocolate who walks around as women eat pieces of him is weird.
Am I the only one turned on the by the idea of a “donkey show” in that bathroom??
But the centaur’s face looks like James Roday, only scruffier.
And I really wish there were a commercial IMDB because i need to know more about mr. Wildflowers-and-shame.
The original scent is both my body wash and deodorant. Of course, with all the “arctic blast!” and “mountain rush!” crap they now have, it’s harder to find in stores than some sickly Axe-wannabe scent.
old spice “classic” does have the great slogan of “if your grandfather hadn’t worn it, you wouldn’t exist.”
That Axe commercial with the chocolate man creeps me out. I had an awful dream the other night where I was trying to stop the Axe chocolate guy from killing my mother. In Axe’s defense, I had also watched most of The Shining immediately before going to bed. The centaur Old Spice commercial is weird, but I haven’t had any terrifying nightmares about it, so I’ll give it a pass.
i live in alabama, and i’ve seen that centaur commercial a lot. (it comes on during [adultswim]) but they’ve never showed the whole thing before! the part with the lady/”provider” thing? not there. the commercial ends after he talks about the stuff and sets it on his…haunches?
i always thought it was wacky. but seeing the whole thing, it is creepy. it’s also creepy that someone is censoring commercials shown in the south. not suprising, mind. just weird.
hysterical! love this post…and your weblog! cheers!