Scrambled
So today Toronto joins the world-class ranks of Tokyo, Denver and London (Ontario) by installing a “scramble” intersection at the corner of Yonge and Dundas Streets in the heart of the city’s downtown. Up to 100,000 pedestrians a day pass through this intersection and, as with most intersections in the city, drivers at Yonge & Dundas are unencumbered by common sense or law enforcement in their amber-running, illegal-turning and general fuckwaddiness when dealing with pedestrians who, admittedly, could themselves learn a thing or twelve about how to cross a fucking street.
The new intersection will increase motorist delays at the intersection to 57 seconds, still a very small price to pay for being so fucking idiotic as to navigate a course through the very busiest part of the largest city in Canada.
Anyway: history!
The media eagerly await my arrival shortly before the opening of the intersection. We can begin.
My friend, City Councillor Kyle Rae, announces the opening of the intersection. I always like going to Kyle’s events because there’s always a passel of hot– hel-LO, Mister Orange Shirt!
City Councillor Glenn de Baeremaeker speaks to… gee, I forget. I think he was sending me a message of some sort. Something about him being a vegan but he’d make an exception for me? I dunno. Geez.
The intersection in action.
6 comments
Crosswalk a-go-go!
I had to google it to figure out what a ’scramble’ was (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scramble_crossing). Do people actually get out of the way when their time is done? or are cars waiting even longer for the intersection to clear of pedestrian traffic?
And this is the first one in Toronto? Nice of them to pick the busiest intersection possible to ‘experiment’ with!
WTF is a scramble intersection? Is it like in New Zealand and Australia where people cross in X patterns and shit??
Oooooh. Ahhhhh.
[...] earlier, CITYnews covered the pothole situation in Toronto with a quote from dreamboat Councillor Glenn Debaeremaeker: “You can be on a road with no potholes Monday and Wednesday there’s a [...]
Glenn Debaeremaker never met a stupid idea he didn’t like, hence his affinity for Kyle Rae’s “brainstorming”.
Until the majority of Torontonians who oppose the current socialist council decide to vote in municipal elections, the city will continue to decline.