- A sweaty athlete asked me to hold his javelin in the elevator this morning. Seriously. The handsome, variably-facial-haired, 6-foot-2 guy who lives in my building and always manages to be returning from a run at the same time I’m getting back from my sissy elliptical-trainer cardio session at the gym was fumbling with his backpack and asked me to hold his javelin while he did so. I’ve never held a javelin before. It was thicker and heavier than I’d expected.
Jesus Pose: U.S. Olympian Javelin Thrower Breaux Greer - The aforementioned Sweaty Javelin Neighbour confirmed a long-standing theory of mine regarding the elevators in my apartment building and office: pressing the lobby UP button when there’s an elevator on 3, an elevator on 12 and an elevator on 22 results in — I think you know where this is heading — the elevator on 22 descending to the lobby while the other two, which remained motionless until the button-press, start ascending. Inexplicable.
- From Tara comes the news that Toronto’s Cumberland Cinemas will be demolished at some indeterminate future date to make room for yet another uninspired and uninspiring condo development. This marks the fourth or fifth multi-theatre cinema in the downtown core which has disappeared in the last two decades. It also marks the demise of my most hated cinema experiences.
Allow me to explain…
The cinemas themselves weren’t bad and, to be honest, the programming featured quite a few films of great interest to me. It was the patrons that bugged.
So filled with pride over their support of indie cinema, the largely-mature crowd managed to cause injurious eye-rolling before a presentation with their limited — but ostentatious (and loud) — display of one or two tidbits of information regarding the movie, usually gleaned from a Toronto Fucking Star article published the day before. (For the uninformed, scanning The Star on a trendwatch is akin to flipping through People to discover what’s new and edgy.)
Worse, they never hesitated to point out that tidbit, again (and loudly), when the movie was actually playing. I think the last film I saw there was Amelie, and when the stupid garden gnome made it’s appearance every single audience member turned to their companion and loudly “awwww”ed and “isn’t that cute”ed until I started projectile vomiting.
Good riddance, though I shudder to think of what will replace the ugly building, given Toronto’s penchant for unimaginitive architecture. - Speaking of architecture, this time of the imaginitive variety — and technically not in Toronto — I’m excited to see the new Absolute Towers in Mississauga under construction. From the MAD Design website:
In our design, the continuous balcony surrounds the whole building, eliminating the vertical lines used in traditional high rise architecture to emphasize the height. The entire building rotates by different degrees at different level, which corresponds with sceneries at different height. Our aim is to evoke the city dwellers’ aspiration for nature, and get them in touch with the sunlight and the wind.
It looks gorgeous and, in a surprisingly witty move, has apparently been dubbed “Marilyn Monroe” by nearby residents.
- And speaking of an “entire building rotating by different degrees”, how about a building that actually, really rotates? Check out the videos of the wildly ambitious Dynamic Architecture website. The first structure will be built in Dubai.
This project is exactly what I used to fantasize about in (structural) engineering school. I mean, when I wasn’t fantasizing about the track and field athletes practicing inside the running track I ran around at the University of Calgary.
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So What Else Is New?7 comments to So What Else Is New? |
June 2010 |
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7 comments
Thicker AND heavier? Well hello Breaux.
I think there’s one planned for Chicago, too. They look good in the pics, but I think each full-floor condo can set their own rotation so the actual look won’t look as nice and spirally as the artist’s renderings.
THERE IS NOTHING SISSY ABOUT THE ELLIPTICAL MACHINE.
is there?
I have a feeling a lot of guys ask you to hold their javelin. Actually, I have some fantasies regarding elevators, because that is one location I’ve never managed. At least not yet.
The buildings look great, though I have to say the absolute towers look fascinating. My own town of Boston is becoming the home of boring and/or downright ugly architecture. Any time something interesting is proposed, one neighborhood association or another has a fit.
As for the elliptical machine, one of those is the reason that I am currently enjoying the same sensation ordinarily associated with having rusty nails driven into your calves.
I think the last film I saw there was Amelie, and when the stupid garden gnome made it’s appearance every single audience member turned to their companion and loudly “awwww”ed and “isn’t that cute”ed until I started projectile vomiting.
Oh Gods I know. I was sitting right beside you. And we were trapped in the middle of the row ( I’m still trying to figure out how that happend).
The worst thing about the Cumberland was telling those yorkville matrons to shut up and them looking at you like you’re the hired help who has just quit. At christmas.
” She’s in a coma!”
But still , I saw some great films there over the years.
“She’s in a coma.” That was from the time you went to see Talk to Her, right, and some woman had to loudly state the (very) obvious to her companion, right? Sort of like loudly commenting at the end of Titanic: “oh my god, it sank!”
Also, I’ll never forget going to the Cumberland — which sold memberships and gave away discount booklets with each sold — to see Super Size Me and noticing, on the way out, a huge lobby poster advertising McDonalds coupons available in the membership discount booklet.
Wow, I’ve had completely different experiences at the Cumberland, apparently. I’ve found the audiences there to be really respectful, especially compared to the bloody Paramount – excuse me, Scotiabank – where I’ve gotten into yelling matches with people who wouldn’t shut up. The only times that I’ve had a problem at the Cumberland was during TIFF, because the press think they’re too important to turn their phones off. I hope the condos can make room for the cinema at street level. Better that than another goddamned Pizza Pizza or whatever.