So, Tourism Toronto recently unveiled its latest bid to get more visitors to the city and… well, it doesn’t get high grades from blogTO commenters, the majority of whom voted that “at least it’s not Toronto Unlimited,” referring to a previous, inscrutable and Just Plain Bad ad campaign. Is it that the city can’t afford creative marketing people of higher caliber — or is it just the cronyism held over from too many years of Mel Lastman — which has saddled the city with such breathtakingly lame boosterism?
And while no one (except me, sarcastically) ever repeats that rumoured quote from Peter Ustinov — “Toronto is like New York, except run by the Swiss” — the moratorium seems to have eluded the Toronto Tourism folks, who’ve given their landing page the retarded title “NYC – Microsite” and a URL of “nyc2008″:
Presumably they were going for an acronym of “Name Your Corner”? Whatever, it’s remarkably inept.
I guess, though, you do have to give them props for including Toronto’s Rich, Diverse, Multicultural Community of White, Steroidal, Partying Leathermen to illustrate our vibrant lesbigay community. There’s a nod to racially-mixed conservaqueers but, naturally, they’re all gooshy and gay-marriagey:
Too bad there aren’t any pretty lesbians in Toronto, huh? But we sure do have some safe, old drag queens female impersonators! I love it when they look just like my mom trying to look pretty. So edgy. So outrageous.
I especially love the ad copy (predictably) referencing Toronto’s (predictable) Woody’s: it “had a cameo on the wretched popular TV Series, Queer as Folk.” Since, after all, Toronto was standing in for fucking Pittsburgh in Queer as Folk. Please, guys, try to remember which city you’re aligning with Toronto. And maybe get someone other than that guy in Creative whose wife’s brother is gay to point you to some hipper homo haunts.
But let’s not limit the marketing ineptitude to our diverse lesbigay population. Here’s the spot for the “Something New” signpost:
Except… she’s at David’s shoe store — you know, the one with all those fucking Sex and the City posters (another inept Toronto-NYC comparison) uglifying the windows? — across from Manulife Centre. At Bay and Bloor. Almost 20 blocks from Eaton Centre. Those heels will be totally broken in after that walk.
A job well-done, Toronto-style!
16 comments
I can only wish it was inscrutable. What is with our New York City (they really mean Manhattan) penis envy? We don’t have the same history. We don’t have the same geography. We don’t have the same population. We don’t have the same attractions. We aren’t in the same freaking country.
We do have some of the same stores, and back when you could rank our dollar alongside the peso, that probably meant something to the American tourists we were trying to bribe to come up here. Now that the dollar is actually at par and the border is so miserable to cross, I can imagine New York City promoting itself by saying “Just like Toronto–only a little dirtier, a little more authentic, and with things to do and see.”
Does Regina aspire to be like Toronto? Does Saskatoon aspire to be like Regina? Does anyone give free salsa lessons outside a shoe store anywhere in this city?
Clearly, Toronto would buy a marketing campaign from a squirrel monkey in a tiny top hat if it could operate a PowerPoint presentation.
But B– I LOVE White, steroidal, partying Leathermen!!!
B — everytime you strike a word out, i get my belly laugh per day.
if you ever stop, so help me …
e
Every time you strike a word out…a kitten kills God.
Oh, for God’s sake, David D., God’s been dead for >i/i<. Kittens are out to kill the rest of us. So, 23, when are you running for mayor?
Cora, you’re absolutely correct.
I have been killed with cute!
wow…she bought a pair of shoes and then went outside and learned to make salsa? toronto *is* a vibrant, multi-cultural/social/homosexy little town! i am so packing my bags from san francisco and moving there!
I know, right? Could they not have found, like, ONE THING that’s unique to Toronto, and push that? Because I’m pretty sure — I mean, I’d be totally sure if I’d been to more cities — that Toronto isn’t the only place with shoe stores, female impersonators or gaybars.
And this is your first warning, you guys: No. More. Kitten. Links. I mean, it. I’ll turn this car around and we’ll head straight home. </Dad>
But bstewart, I’m trying to warn people about kittens that hear voices in their heads! It’s important! ::stomps feet::
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Fuck you
Oy. I so should not have said a thing.
Cora, I think I love you.
Cora has just the right attitude for this blog. And for Toronto/NYC2008!
I lived in Toronto for a year. I don’t understand the hype.
I especially don’t understand the mindset of some of the people that I met. A few asked me how it felt to finally be in The Big City.
My response was that it wasn’t a big deal to me, because I’d grown up in L.A. and spent summers in New York.
“Yes,” these people would reply in all seriousness, “but Toronto is a *real* city.”
Can anybody explain what this is supposed to mean? I’d ask the people that said it, but their replies didn’t make sense to me: “Toronto has things that you won’t find in other cities, like the shopping.”
Oh, yes–the shopping. That’s where we give people money in exchange for items. Unlike LA and all these other “non-real” cities that still work on the barter system.
It’s true, David D. The real reason L.A. is such a car culture is because we have to carry chickens and goats with us whenever we want goods and/or services. I hope this “shopping” I’ve heard so much of comes to L.A. soon. My back hurts from all the goat carrying.