My favourite is when Cooper calls Dipshit on the ludicrous notion that homos getting hitched somehow threatens heterosexual marriages and the response is, predictably, that heterosexual marriage numbers are down. Ludicrously — but, again, predictably — the causal link is not in any way supported by facts. Dan “Awesome!” Savage blocks the move by actually agreeing with the idiot, but suggests that the institutionalization of parallel, common-law relationships — intended to give gays and lesbians almost-parity — are being embraced by heteros, and that’s why the actual, “real” marriage numbers are down.

Advantage: Savage.

Perkins, predictably, suggests that the next logical step is, wait for it, polygamy. Snore. But, again defying traditional blocking of such a retarded notion, Savage again agrees, suggesting that polyamorous relationships be debated on their merits, too. Savage: check!

Perkins — predictably — responds that “judicial activism” thwarted the ban on gay marriages in California. Savage produces some… what are they called again? Oh, right, facts… that gay marriages were, in fact, twice supported by the California legislature. Check and mate, motherfucker.

My dream ticket? Obama/Savage.