You just know something’s a bit off in the Toronto real estate market when prospective buyers line up a week before a new condo development’s sales office first opens its doors, and for suites that start at a half-mil. The sticker price isn’t unusual, but the advertising tagline is a bit… off.
The Best Corner in the World!
Just outside the front door of 1 Bloor, or just a few minutes away, are limitless opportunities to entertain and be entertained, to relish in what some folks call “the human comedy.”
Setting aside the trite ineptitude of the ad copy, truer words were never spoken. Comedy? It’s fuckin’ hilarious. I live two blocks away.
Behold! Within one block of “the best corner in the world”…
No, Really, the Best Corner in the World!!!
That criss-cross pattern in the intersection (above) is intended to prevent motorists from gridlocking the crossing but don’t worry about that; downtown traffic regulations are rarely enforced by Toronto’s Finest!
The Sales Office Presentation Lounge for 1 Bloor is a Glittering Showcase!
“Just Outside the Front Door of 1 Bloor…”
Fine Menswear!
Easy Access to All Amenities!
Ample Parking Near Local Fine Dining!
(“Would you like some relish with that human comedy?”)
Worship at Nearby Faith Centers!
International Cuisine!
Upscale Shopping!
Gorgeous Parks!
Culture and Entertainment at Its Finest!
Too bad it was way too early in the morning to photograph the crazy and/or stupid and/or dangerous nutbars who pepper the neighbourhood because, for real, they’re the ones who are limitless in their capacity to entertain.
10 comments
Woot! Woot!!
Several impressions: first, seriously, I have not laughed like that for awhile, so cheers. Second, aw man, why’d ya have to go and put on a shirt?? You need SOCKS, dear. *COUGH*. Third, I don’t see any conversions in my Frommer’s for Canadian-to-U.S. Lap Dancing Rating Scale; although I’m assuming that “Very Satisfying’s” CA equivalent just went up slightly (e.g. from “C’mon, dude, she’s got three kids to feed” to “Not skanky”). Please confirm.
Thanks! But stay tuned… All you Speedo-haters will be unimpressed.
Regarding the Brass Rail — allegedly Kevin Spacey’s favourite Toronto haunt (and why is that, because it’s filled with very drunk and very horny men?) — I must regretfully admit that I’ve never set foot inside a strip club in Toronto, and that goes for the legendary Remington’s, too.
I was half-inspired to try out my new polling plug-in to get readers to vote on lap dances at the Brass Rail, from “Deeply Disturbing” to “Meh” to “Ultra-Satisfying”, but I trust that a classy establishment like the Brass Rail has already undertaken extensive surveys in this regard.
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OMG your pics and comments were hilarious…if only Remingtons were closer to Yonge and Bloor
I’m surprised at the audacity of the claim by marketers that Yonge & Bloor is the “best corner in the world”. I can think of a few good ones… 5th and 57th in Manhattan, 42nd and Broadway, Marble Arch in London, Rodeo and Wilshire in Beverly Hills, George V and Champs Elysees in Paris, and probably many others I’m not thinking of. Come on, even King & Bay has far more cachet…. 1 Bloor’s marketing is silly. Two ugly bank towers and a dowdy clothing store (Stollery’s) do not a best-corrner-in-the-world make. And sadly the 1 Bloor marketing has been very effective. The prices per square foot are too high, given the commonly had 9′ ceilings in many of the residences.
If’ you’re gonna pay that much per square foot, buy in a smaller Yorkville building with 10′ ceilings and more luxurious interiors. Resale will be better, and lifestyle will be ‘more for the money’.
LMFAO… Your photo essay is *BRILLIANT*
I posted on one RE’s blog that was bragging about how great downtown TO is, esp. that area near Kensington Market/Little Italy, but evidently didn’t know the neighbourhood. I took it upon myself to mention what they had missed, since I’m familiar with the area, such as the social housing projects on Dundas, the Graffiti/garbage pit that is China Town, as well as the empty storefronts in Yorkville… Yeah, great for raising a family too – I’d love to raise three kids in a 500 sq ft ‘open concept’ flat.
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