Edward “Ned” Hanlan (1855 - 1908):

THE MOST RENOWNED OARSMAN
OF ANY AGE WHOSE VICTORIOUS
CAREER HAS NO PARALLEL IN
THE ANNALS OF SPORT
BORN AND DIED IN TORONTO

Ned Hanlan was the first Canadian superstar sports figure and it’s unlikely you’ll find a single biography lacking reference to his handsome good looks, quiet masculinity and diminutive-but-nonetheless-manly, tight-muscled physique. He wore a snug-fitting, blue racing costume and, as a result, became known as “The Boy in Blue”. A movie of that name was made starring Nicolas Cage, back when Nicolas Cage was considered an interesting actor and not an “interesting” actor, as he is known now. Nicolas Cage is hairier than Ned Hanlan was, I believe.

A 1928 statue of Ned Hanlan, showcasing his lean, hard torso, protruding nipples and round, muscular buttocks was recently moved to the not-coincidentally-named Hanlan’s Point on Toronto Islands, greeting visitors disembarking the ferry en route to the city’s sad, little (but officially-sanctioned) clothing-optional beach. While it’s generally true that on a nude beach everyone is beautiful, on Hanlan’s Point it must be said that most people could do with taking up some physical activity like, I dunno… rowing?

Ned Hanlan Statue (detail, showing spider-webs)