Any marketer producing advertising material and oblivious to any perceived, antisocial subtext therein, is, at best, an idiot not worth his salary. Any marketer who is aware of the potential antisocial subtext in their material, and releases it regardless, can only be described as a sociopathic fuckweasel. With that in mind, we present two Toronto subway posters from this season’s Bell Canada advertising campaign…

Gordon — for that is his name, unless I’m mistaken — is an animal who just happens to be one of Canada’s national symbols. Also? A national cliché. Only a lazy, fuckwitted, American marketer would use a bald eagle in a portrayal like Gordon’s, best described as underachieving, flabby and dull (the way Canadian marketers are fond of portraying Canadian men, by the way). He’s dissing fat beavers in the ad above. Connect the dots, people.

And here Gordon’s recommending blackmail. The subtext of misogyny, sizeism and backstabbing assholery in these ads — delivered by flabby, stupid males — could hardly be plainer. It’s not even subtext. Thanks, Bell Canada, and happy fucking holidays, dicks.