Mom reviews Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest:

• it’s too loud!
• it’s too scary for little kids; I’m surprised Walt Disney let it out in this form!
• is Johnny supposed to be gay?
• it’s a wonder parents aren’t in and out throughout the whole thing, taking their kids to the bathroom; it’s that long!
• oh, that one you like is in it. [Orlando Bloom, she means, and she could not be more wrong]
• Kate Winslet hasn’t done much since Titanic, has she? [she's not mistaking Keira Knightley for Winslet, by the way, she just thought it pertinent to the review]
• it’s so intense, it should be rated PG, don’t you think? [it is]
• so, there’s going to be another one?

Dad reviews Law & Order: Criminal Intent:

• I thought that kook was in this, you know, the one who went crazy when George Bush won the election.
• isn’t that the one who was in that other show?
• I don’t like this show, you have to watch it from the very beginning to get what’s going on.
• why don’t they just arrest him?
• he’s obviously the one who did it! I had him picked from the start! [Dad doesn't quite get that it's a cop-psych procedural, not a whodunnit]
• I don’t see the point of it, if you know from the get-go who did it.
• they have two versions of Law & Order now, don’t they?

Can I just say that I love my Mom and Dad so much that it’s crazy?