Apropos of nothing at all, but really fun, here’s a photo of John Travolta from the set of Wild Hogs, a scene in which he and an equally-flabby Tim Allen and Martin Lawrence are, essentially, sexually harrassed (in a really comedic, Tim-Allen-and-Martin-Lawrence kinda way, not in a Ned-Beatty-squealing-like-a-pig kinda way) by a naked gay man at a swimming hole. Which, in case you were wondering, is pretty-much what all gay men like to do: swim naked and sexually harrass flabby, washed-up, torn-down movie stars.

So, Travolta’ll be here in Toronto very soon to play Edna Turnblatt (the character made famous by Divine) in the film version of the musical version of the film Hairspray!, and two thoughts spring to mind: not much prosthetics required, huh? And pleaspleaseplease don’t “work out” at my downtown gym — so favoured by Hollywood types — while you’re here, dude. I’d really like to use the sauna to relax in peace. And you’ll want me to, too, JT. I promise.

In other fun news, all those endless days and nights wondering how fuckin’ awesome Calgary has become since my last visit to the city of my early adulthood are coming to an end. I find out tomorrow. And, eventually, so will you, Dear Reader.