So, I can’t remember whether I was kneeling in front of or actually sitting on the toilet at the exact moment I turned 50 last week, due to the hallucinations and fever and nonstop waves of nausea — not to mention the projectile vomiting and explosive diarrhea — but I can surely tell you that it was a milestone occasion. (Also: slimming!  Big ups to burgers at The Foxes [sic] Den in my nabe for making it all possible.)  And, y’know, of all our sense-memories, smell is the strongest, if you catch my drift.

Much more pleasant to remember, on the other hand, was the fabulous fête held in my dishonour at my palatial new digs two days later (prompting the inevitable “You don’t look a day over fifty! You look two days over fifty!!!” chucklefest).

Anyway, like Coco Chanel says,

“Nature gives you the face you have at twenty. Life shapes the face you have at thirty. But at fifty you get the face you deserve.”

…and some of my pals helped me in achieving that face which I deserve, though some have clearly been overly influenced by Brazil:

Awesome, all of you guys. Everyone who was there in body and spirit. Especially “Champagne Mushroom”, who rocks so very, very hard. Get it!