Archive for June, 2006
Bryan Singer: Revisionist
I’m not particularly happy with Bryan Singer these days, though I’m not exactly sure why that is.
Could it be because he’s a decidedly-overrated director who gets far more press than more-deserving filmmakers like, say, Alex Proyas?
Could it be because his alleged Gaydar profile had that vaguely-unpleasant aroma of entitlement so common among a certain class of Hollywood fag?
Could it [...]
So, following the release of the spiffy, two-disc, Beyond the Valley of the Dolls DVD, I was reminiscing about my parents' reaction to the film. Now, first some background: Mom and Dad have never been hip and have never pretended to be hip. My parents have always lived in an irony-free zone, so any enjoyment of Jacqueline Susann's [...]
Chix Dig bstewart
Yes, chix do dig bstewart. Especially ginormous-breasted, wee, pornstar chix. Summer Sinn* visits the office, frightens all of the het guys, mesmerizes with a Bahston accent thicker than that of a certain obnoxious — and painfully overexposed — former Surviving Racer and ultimately has no effect whatsoever on my Kinsey number. Sorry, mom.
Two of my ribs were cracked [...]
Please poo on toilet seats.
This ABM station for cellphone calls only.
24-Hour Bike Lane: Parking Allowed 7:00 AM - 7:00 PM.
'8 Items or Less' a suggestion, not rule.
Cellphone use encouraged in cinema during opening credits.
Proper personal hygiene not required for old men in gym.
Apartment lobby becomes children's playground on weekends.
CITY-TV weather forecasts for entertainment purposes only.
Walking to [...]
Charlton Heston Turned Me Gay
Y’know, there’s nothing quite as uninteresting as a coming-out story, so, in honour of the upcoming borefest known as “Pride Day”, here’s my bid to give Charlton Heston a stroke…
Many, many inverts can name for you the moment at which they “knew” they were gay. Not just different-gay but oh, yeah, got-to-get-me-some-of-that-mansex-gay.
I can name for [...]
This Hear: BoC’s “Dayvan Cowboy”
If it was possible to musically capture an idea, a feeling, a moment so purely blissful that you thought "I don't ever want this to end, ever," then the Scottish brothers who make up Boards of Canada would surely be the architects of such music.
And, in fact, it is possible and they totally did do [...]
Trump Canada
Dude, America is so fucking awesome!
I mean, within days of the international media coverage of Canada's arrest of a gaggle of alleged terrorists in our midst, our mighty neighbour to the south manages to leave us in their dust by killing, like, the second-evillest man alive*. I mean, how cool is that? They couldn't find al-Zarqawi for years, they [...]
This Hear 20060607
Dark Magus: "Arma Gideon"
So: This afternoon, at my spacious, new, universe-controlling workPod, while unpacking the largeish box containing the detritus from my previous space, I unearthed an old CD-ROM filled with MP3s I'd previously considered lost. Included among them? Dark Magus' "Arma Gideon".
Now, about Dark Magus: It's one of the many pseudonyms of Richard H Kirk, [...]
Apocalypse-Synching
So, this very special day began in a appropriate-enough fashion:
two of the channels (CNN Headline News and CNBC) on the cardio teevees at the gymnauseam were displaying the exact, same commercial (for Jos. A. Bank, satanic granddad clothiers) at the exact, same time
not two minutes later, CNBC had an item on “the Vonage IPO Debacle” [...]
Gymnauseam
Gyms — especially the ones to which I've belonged, it seems — are a clearing-house for strange behaviour. This morning, f'rinstance, a fiftyish, investment-bankerish dude switched the channel on one of the cardio televisions from CNN News Morning to… Saved by the Bell.
But before he did, I was treated to a small item from Tuesday's Larry King [...]









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