So, get this: diminutive, baffled, undertalented "comedian" and "actor" Hal Sparks, of the late, unlamented soap opera Queer as Folk (US), is complaining again. No, not that kissing his (male) costar was like kissing a dog. This time he's pitching a hissy over all the love being showered on Brokeback Mountain:

Straight actor-comedian Hal Sparks credits Ledger and Gyllenhaal with having the guts to make "such a beautiful and powerful film" but admits "Queer" alum are "a little baffled."

"There's a bit of 'What the hell were we doing wrong?' going on. No one does a project like 'Brokeback Mountain' to be liked," Sparks says. "The surprise is that everyone did."

Memo to Hal Sparks: If you want to know what the hell you were doing wrong, look no further than your bad acting, lame storylines, obvious direction and joyless, clichéd, pathetic, unaware and victim-mentality characters.